So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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