I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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