he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize