you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
