Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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