You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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