best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
someone owes me an orgasm
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
