im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize