i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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