everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
