girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
