Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
