I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
