sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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