tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
