I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
