I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
