Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
