Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm too high and old for this...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
