Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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