I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She announced her abortion via fbk
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
