walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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