Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
