Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
