I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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