ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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