I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
