he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
