Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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