She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize