I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
