Do you still have your period?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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