no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
