Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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