I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
