I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
