I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
