if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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