Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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