I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
one two three fourrrrnication!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize