Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's blow job season.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
