Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
