Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
