At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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