so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
pray to the hookup gods
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
