love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
