Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
