Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
