She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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