I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
