well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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