Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize