NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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