I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
