If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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