Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
