Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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