I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize