It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
