My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
