girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
