very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think my vagina is haunted
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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