My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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