Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
