I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
