my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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