After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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