Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
