Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize