she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
