Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
