We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
