you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
